This is a complete collection of “foreign” quotes feeding the random “Puns’n’slips” sidebar box. Russian expressions can be found in a separate post.

  • “It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!”
  • “You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter!” — Dilbert
  • “42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.”
  • “Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?” — Hobbes (from "Calvin and Hobbes")
  • “I'd love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to stay tuned.”
  • “He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is.”
  • “I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?” — Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • “He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.” — Chuck Tanner
  • “When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.” — Rita Rudner
  • “I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.” — Johathan Raban
  • Firends forever.” — Gray S. Oldman
  • “Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet.” — Dave Barry
  • “I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” — Tracy Smith
  • “I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.” — Woody Allen
  • “So many boys, so little time.” (on a T-shirt of a blondie)
  • “No wonder you always go home alone.”
  • “Remember, it's not 'How high are you?' — it's 'Hi, how are you?'”
  • “I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.”
  • “Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.”
  • “Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.”
  • “In God we trust. All others pay cash.”

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Ads I

Think About It

“The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell.” — John W. Foster

Ads II

Puns & Slips

“Nobody is perfect. From the Universe's point of view, I am nobody.”