Puns’n’slips

This is a complete collection of “foreign” quotes feeding the random “Puns’n’slips” sidebar box. Russian expressions can be found in a separate post.

  • “Which is worse: ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?”
  • “I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!”
  • “Never eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a 'y' in it.” (Pecor's Health-Food Principle)
  • “Sorry. I forgot what I was going to say.”
  • “If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.” — Albert Einstein
  • “Man invented alcohol, God invented grass. Who do you trust?”
  • “I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell me anything specific.” — Steven Wright
  • “A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.”
  • “CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..”
  • “Feel disillusioned? I've got some great new illusions...”
  • “How can I miss you if you won't go away?”
  • “What would you do with your brain if you had one?”
  • “If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.”
  • “I love bowling! A bowling club is the only place you can drink beer and think you're actually doing sports.”
  • “You want to help me? Here's the best you can do: stay away!”
  • “If everyone loves you, a lot of people don't like it.”
  • “Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.” — Collis P. Huntingdon
  • “...like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it may seem.” — Alan McKay
  • “"I thought you were trying to get into shape." — "I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."”
  • “I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered around the beaches of the world... Perhaps you've seen it.” — Steven Wright
  • “I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.”
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Ads I

Think About It

“Предложение сходить в ресторан чаще заканчивается сексом, чем просто предложение заняться сексом.”

Ads II

Puns & Slips

“Кир на весь мир.”